Alice Hewitt: Why a snow globe holds the key to career success

A snow globe will change the way you do life and work, here’s how…

What is emotional intelligence?

The first thing you need to know is what got you here won’t get you there. You’ve worked hard to gain the qualifications and experience you need to advance your career; you tick the boxes for both your IQ and technical skills, you’ve got ambition and drive but something’s missing.

Emotional intelligence

A critical group of non-cognitive skills, capabilities and competencies which help individuals to control and manage their emotional response to events and pressures. Psychologist Daniel Goleman identified emotional intelligence as accounting for 90% of the difference between the best leaders and managers and the rest. The secret to getting ahead, in life and work, lies in learning how to manage, regulate and control our emotions, stepping into the power emotional intelligence brings us.

And a simple snow globe holds the key.

Why is it important?

Emotional intelligence is increasingly important for organisations and individuals. A recent report by the World Economic Forum listed the components of emotional intelligence among their top 10 attributes and skills needed in the workplace, now and in the future.

We’ve all heard the adage ‘people join organisations and leave managers’ and there’s a lot of truth behind it. Employees want managers and leaders who demonstrate care, interest and concern for their staff, communicate clearly and provide positive feedback and recognition. Employees with emotionally intelligent managers are more engaged  and more productive at work.

Emotional intelligence isn’t a nice-to-have for leaders and organisations, it’s a must have, but what about the benefits for us as individuals?

If you’re ambitious and want to get ahead in your career, developing your emotional intelligence should be a top priority. Why? Because emotional intelligence allows you to:

• Manage your emotions under pressure, staying calm and collected
• Listen in a way that makes others feel heard, valuing contributions and reducing conflict
• Demonstrate empathy, and understanding
• Take responsibility for your mistakes, and use them as a learning experience
• Be open to feedback, cultivating a growth mindset
• Manage disagreements, practicing negotiation and promoting healthy conflict
• Earn the respect of others

Emotional intelligence develops our self-awareness, emotional regulation and empathy, helping us build better relationships, foster collaboration and develop creativity. It helps us manage stress, improve resilience and develop our communication.

When we practice emotional intelligence, we create a phenomena known as emotional contagion, where our emotions and related behaviours lead to similar emotions and behaviours in others, creating a positive culture at work and at home. It’s easy to see why it is so important!

What are the components of emotional intelligence?

There are five components of emotional intelligence:

• Self-awareness – the ability to recognise and understand our own emotions and their effect on others
• Self-regulation – the ability to control or redirect disruptive influences
• Motivation – a passion to work with energy and persistence for reasons beyond money or status
• Empathy – the ability to understand the emotional needs of others and treat them accordingly
• Social skill – the ability to manage relationships, build networks, collaborate and influence others

Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. Without this, we can’t self-regulate, tap into intrinsic motivation, demonstrate empathy, or form meaningful and productive relationships. Leaders with high levels of self-awareness are more confident and candid, they’re more realistic about their own strengths and weaknesses, make better decisions and communicate more effectively.

Self-awareness allows us to recognise and understand our own emotions, and the impact they have on us and others, but it’s self-regulation that allows us to control and manage our emotions. Effective self-regulators think before acting. They tend to have a positive attitude, be trust-worthy, comfortable with ambiguity, able to suspend judgement and open to change.

To move from self-awareness to self-regulation, crucial for effective emotional intelligence, we need to understand the difference between reaction and response.

When an event or situation which we see as important to our wellbeing or goals occurs, it triggers an instinctive emotional reaction, our primary appraisal. This is usually triggered by a threat or challenge, but it can also be a positive event. The intensity and make up of this reaction are subjective, and depend on what matters to us as individuals. It’s emotion-focused and produces knee-jerk reactions that often make the situation worse. We act without thinking, based on our emotions.

Our response, our secondary appraisal, is problem-focused. It’s an intentional choice about how we act in response to the event. It’s more analytical and logical, utilising skills, strengths and resources to take intentional action to address the situation. We choose how we respond, based on the options available to us and the possible outcomes.

But how do we move from our instinctive emotional reaction (our primary appraisal) to our intentional response (our secondary appraisal)? How do we stop ourselves acting purely based on our emotions?

In an age when hyperconnectivity has shortened our attention spans and speeded up the pace of everything we see, hear and do, creating that space is both harder and more important than ever.

‘Think before you act, pause before you speak’ is drummed into us from childhood but when we’re in the moment, under pressure, and emotions and tensions are running high, this is far easier said than done.

With the current pressures of work, Christmas and the holiday season combining to create the perfect storm, we need to be able to manage our emotions, making decisions based on logic and acting with purposeful intention.

This is where the ‘snow globe’ comes in.

The snow globe

This is a powerful yet simple visual technique I’ve developed through my leadership coaching & mentoring over the last 20 years that helps people to manage and control their emotions when under pressure.

It’s a way to create space between our instinctive emotional reaction and our intentional response, so that we choose who we want to be and how we want to behave in that moment. Responding not reacting.

Close your eyes for a moment and imagine a snow globe.

At the very centre of your snow globe is the situation you’re currently dealing with – a complaint from a client, a looming deadline, a seemingly impossible demand, a fractious team, any challenge works. You can probably already start to feel the physical effects of the emotions that situation generates. Your muscles tighten, your heart rate increases, your breathing shallows, your stomach flips. Your body is reacting and getting ready to send you into fight, flight or freeze mode, an instinctive reaction to keep you safe from physical danger.

Now shake the snow globe hard. As you shake it, all the snow begins to swirl around and around, obscuring the centre. These pieces of snow represent your emotions and feelings – anger, fear, shame, guilt, resentment, apathy, insecurity, sadness.

As the snow swirls, take a moment to acknowledge those emotions. Identify what they are and allow yourself to feel them. While you’re still in the middle of the storm, all you can see is the snow, all you can feel is the emotion. You can’t see the centre, the situation you’re dealing with, so you don’t know which direction to head in to get to where you want to be.

Pause and watch the snow settle, and as it settles allow your emotions to calm. They’re still there, but now they’re not blocking your view.

You can see the centre of the snow globe clearly now. You can decide which direction to go in, which action to take. You can act with intention because your vision isn’t being obscured by your emotions.

You’ve created space between your instinctive emotional reaction and your intentional response. You’ve allowed those emotions to come, acknowledged them for what they are and taken back control of how you act to get a positive outcome.

You haven’t suppressed or ignored your emotions, you’ve controlled and regulated them. You’ve practiced self-awareness and self-regulation, taken responsibility for your emotions, and decided how you want to handle them.

You’ve chosen who you want to be and how you want to behave in that moment so that you can act with intention and purpose to get a positive outcome.

Conclusion

The next time you feel stressed, under pressure and overloaded, remember the snow globe. Allow your emotions to come, acknowledge them, and let them settle. Then make an intentional decision about how you want to act and behave. To be the leader that you want to be.

Emotional intelligence isn’t about denying our emotions, it’s about learning how to manage and control them, stepping into the power emotional intelligence brings us.

When you can do this, you will go far, progression will be easier, and your career (and life) success will be easier, more enjoyable, and inevitable.