Beverlie Wilkinson: Second child, new challenges – preparing for your return to work

The journey back to work after having your second child can feel like familiar territory or completely uncharted waters. As someone who has coached many parents through this transition, I’ve observed that success lies in solid planning and maintaining your perspective.

Very helpfully just before I had my second child some said to me, “You do realise 1 + 1 = 3” and to be honest at times they were not wrong. My children’s age gap was 22 months and there was often that feeling that leaving the house was too much effort. I had no sooner got one in shoes, to turnaround and the other had taken theirs off.

Establishing effective routines

Creating structured routines isn’t just about organisation – it’s about preserving your mental energy for work. Returning to work after the second is all about getting into some good routines.

Children love systems and goals. It feels safe and familiar and will help you to not have to think so much. If you can eliminate some decisions in the morning, you will be saving some good band width or mental capacity for work.

Consider these practical steps:

• Prepare clothing for everyone the night before
• Position packed bags by the door
• Create consistent morning rituals that engage both children
• Develop time markers (like specific shows or songs) that signal transition points

While you might not want to adopt the example of one family who sang show tunes doing the washing up, it’s important to find routines that authentically work for your household. Creating new routines with good associations will make them memorable and easier to step into.

Nothing stays the same forever

Your childcare needs will evolve, and flexibility in your approach is crucial. Consider both immediate needs and future transitions. For instance, a preschool affiliated with your child’s future school might offer long-term advantages, while grandparent care might better accommodate your office days.

Inevitably, sickness bugs will be shared between the children (and you!) so have solid backup plans in place. While employers should be understanding it is always good to have cover.

Consider these factors when planning:

• Evaluate multiple options: nurseries, preschools, family care
• Think strategically about pickup times and locations
• Build a reliable network of backup caregivers
• Maintain updated emergency contacts
• Balance reciprocal arrangements with friends

Protecting Your Career Trajectory

Research conducted by Careers After Babies found that 98% of mum’s wanting to go back to work after having children. Only 13% think it’s viable on a full-time basis and of the 24% that tried to go back full time, 79% ended up leaving because they couldn’t maintain their full-time job alongside having a baby.

In her TED Talk back in 2010, Shery Sandberg used the phrase, “Don’t leave before you leave”. She meant that women think about a life journey far earlier than a man would, and they tend to leave before they need to leave. Equally Sandberg says your job must be good to want to stay. Putting the financial challenges of returning to work to one side, you need to have your professional success in balance with personal fulfillment.

Consider:

• Maintaining a long-term perspective on your career goals
• Discussing professional ambitions openly with your partner
• Seeking roles that offer both professional success and personal fulfilment
• Different working patterns that could support your career progression

Prioritising self-care

Sustainable success requires maintaining your own wellbeing alongside family and work responsibilities. Self-care looks different for everyone – it might mean:
• Protected sleep time
• Regular exercise
• Coffee with a friend or night out with the girls
• Quiet moments alone
• Extra sleep or naps
• Professional development opportunities

Take inspiration from Brené Brown’s percentage check-in system which she uses with her husband to regularly assess energy levels and support needs. They ask each other ‘what are you at?’. If he was at 20% and she was near 80% then she’d take on extra work, or if they were both at 20%, they’d discuss how to best support each other. When both partners are depleted, having an honest conversation about resources and support becomes crucial.

Celebrating Small Victories

While major achievements deserve celebration, finding joy in daily moments sustains us through challenging transitions.

Appreciate simple pleasures like:

• A peaceful morning coffee
• Your baby’s first smile of the day
• Witnessing sibling bonding moments
• Finding a quiet workspace
• Successfully completing a work presentation
• Enjoying end-of-day relaxation ritual

Whatever gives you that immediate happiness saviour it and share when you can. These small victories accumulate to create a satisfying work-life rhythm.

Moving Forward with Confidence

Returning to work after your second child means navigating familiar territory with new complexities. Remember that while circumstances have changed, your professional capabilities remain intact – enhanced by new perspectives and management skills gained through parenting.

Success lies in thoughtful preparation across establishing supportive routines, securing flexible childcare arrangements, maintaining your career focus, protecting your personal wellbeing and recognising your daily achievements.

With these elements in place, you’re well-equipped to manage this transition successfully. Remember that adaptation takes time, and both challenges and triumphs are natural parts of the journey. Trust in your ability to create a fulfilling balance between professional achievement and family life.