It doesn’t happen overnight. Often, the shift is so gradual, you don’t realize it until you’re sitting in another meeting, silent, wondering why your breathing is shallow.
You used to feel engaged at work, sharing ideas freely, looking forward to certain projects, and even having moments of real connection with your team. Now, you spend your mornings dreading Slack notifications, second-guessing every word in your emails, or wondering whether it’s your fault.
This is how many people experience a toxic workplace: not with one obvious red flag, but with a slow erosion of their motivation, confidence, and well-being. So how do you know for sure it’s something serious? And how do you decide when it’s time to move on? Here are some key signs you’re in a toxic workplace and questions to help guide your next step.
You Spend More Energy Managing Perceptions Than Doing Your Job
A former client described it this way: “I spent more time trying to figure out how to say things the ‘right’ way than focusing on the actual work.” She wasn’t being micromanaged. But the feedback she was receiving from her manager was vague and inconsistent. She never knew if she was doing well or falling short.
If you’re constantly reviewing your tone, rewording emails, or walking out of meetings unsure whether you said too much or not enough – maybe it’s time to examine why you feel this way. A question to ask yourself: Am I focused on doing my best work, or managing how others perceive me at all times?
Effort Is Rewarded, But At A Cost
You might notice that the people who get praised are also the ones working nights, skipping breaks, or always being “on.” Taking time off feels risky and something you have to justify. This doesn’t always come from leadership directly. Sometimes it’s part of the team culture: late-night emails, last-minute deadlines, or the expectation that “everyone’s just pitching in.” Over time, this culture of overwork starts to feel normal and eventually depletes people. A question to ask yourself: When I’m recognized, is it for the quality of my work or for pushing myself above and beyond what’s sustainable?
You Start Playing Small
At some point, you notice you’re no longer volunteering ideas. You keep your contributions short in meetings. You stay quiet even when something feels off. One client told me she stopped joining brainstorming calls altogether. “What’s the point,” she said, “if I’m going to be ignored or sidelined anyway?” It’s important to recognise that this is not a reflection of your ability. It’s a common response to environments where initiative is punished or simply not welcomed. A question to ask yourself: Have I been pulling back in ways that don’t feel like me?
You’ve Tried To Address The Issues, But Nothing Changes
It’s normal to want to give a job the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you’ve spoken with your manager and asked for clearer communication. Or you’ve tried setting boundaries repeatedly. And yet, the same dynamics keep repeating. Your concerns are acknowledged, but not acted on. Promises are made, then ignored. Change doesn’t always happen on your timeline. But there should be a prospect of it happening eventually – and that doesn’t seem to be the case. A question to ask yourself: Have I done what’s within my control to improve things? And if so, what else am I waiting for?
You’re Feeling The Impact On Your Life Outside Of Work
This might be the clearest sign of all. You spend your weekends recovering instead of relaxing. You carry work anxiety into evenings, nights, and early mornings. Even when you’re on vacation, you’re still checking your inbox, or dreading what will be waiting when you return. You might also notice changes in how you show up in your personal relationships.
You may be more irritable, less patient, or just more withdrawn. Work doesn’t need to be joyful all the time. But it shouldn’t take up so much space in your mind that you can’t rest and recharge. A question to ask yourself: Am I able to leave work at work? Or is it starting to follow me home?
Deciding to leave a job, especially one you’ve invested in, is not easy. It can bring up doubt, guilt, and fear of the unknown. But staying somewhere that no longer supports your growth (or your health) carries its own risks. This doesn’t mean quitting at the first sign of discomfort.
When it comes to a toxic workplace, it’s important to recognise the signs and red flags. And if you’ve been trying to make it work for a while, and it’s still weighing you down, it may be time to start planning your next step. You don’t need to be completely burned out to feel OK about walking away. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do for your well-being is to listen to what you already know – and act on it.
Katia Vlachos is a reinvention coach and the author of Uncaged: A Good Girl's Journey to Reinvention. She helps accomplished professionals navigate career transitions and create meaningful change without sacrificing their authentic selves.