Today’s work environments are often fuelled by high pressure, riddled with uncertainty and incivility, making them stressful and even unhealthy places to be. Workplace wellbeing is hugely influenced by how people experience work.
It’s often the little day-to-day things, the people you work next to, or how your boss treats you, that have the biggest impact on how you feel.
Kindness matters. It is almost always the right choice for your people and your business. Work cultures that prioritise kindness can improve mental and physical health; they also reduce absenteeism, boost engagement, and increase retention, making kindness the strategic leadership choice.
Choosing Kindness
Your brain already knows this, andyou probably already feel it in your gut.
When you’re treated with kindness, you think clearer. You have more courage. You take better risks. You recover faster from failure.
Here’s why. Being kind changes brain chemistry in ways that boost trust, reduce stress, and improve collaboration. It triggers a cascade of neurochemical changes which include:
- Activating the hormonal happiness triad by releasing Dopamine, the reward hormone or helpers high, which increases our desire to repeat/sustain our actions, Oxytocin, which builds connection and trust, and Serotonin, which regulates digestion, sleep, and mood, and can reduce anxiety.
- Reducing cortisol levels (the stress hormone), enabling better cognitive function, inhibition control, and memory, as well as having a positive effect on your immune system.
- Firing mirror neurons, reflecting the emotion we feel and see in others, making kindness potentially contagious.
The science is clear: kindness changes brain chemistry in ways that improve trust, reduce stress, and open up creativity. Leading with kindness is not just about helping people feel good. Kindness will help you and your people perform better.
Yet far too many leaders still tangle kindness up with being ‘nice’ or weak, even. It gets associated with being overly agreeable, avoiding hard decisions, or having low expectations.
In leadership, kindness is almost the opposite. It is setting clear boundaries and expectations, it’s telling the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, and it’s having the hard conversation before it becomes a disciplinary. And yes, it is also listening and showing compassion when someone is struggling or makes a mistake, and it’s ensuring you preserve human dignity and respect.
Being kind takes practice, especially when you are under pressure; it requires both self-awareness and emotional regulation, as well as the ability to read what’s really going on beneath the surface.
Fear Is Killing Your Culture
Building kinder cultures is the work of leaders, yet too many are ducking it, hiding behind a mask of professionalism.
If we’re honest, half the things we call “professionalism” are just fear in a smart outfit. Fear of saying the wrong thing, fear of making the wrong call, fear of repercussions, fear of being too soft or even too human.
Fear breeds smallness. People keep their heads down, their mouths shut, and their ideas to themselves. They don’t speak up when they don’t know, or they’ve made a mistake, and they don’t challenge if they think you are wrong.
When the heat is on, leaders often default to control or hide behind professionalism. Leading with kindness interrupts that cycle. Your people don’t need perfection; they need you to be there, they need to feel they matter, and that you have their back. Then teams get braver, they take risks, tell the truth, and bring energy instead of armour.
Kindness is not the soft option. It’s the bravest leadership stance you can take. Leaders who can navigate the messy, human, emotional terrain are much more likely to build teams who buy into your mission, people who trust you and follow you through uncertainty.
How to Lead with Kindness Even Under Pressure
- Start with noticing. Pay attention to what’s happening for your people beyond the task list. Notice the quiet withdrawal, the tired eyes, the repeated mistakes. These are signals, not irritations.
- Listen before you solve. In our rush to fix things, we often skip listening. Sometimes what people need is not a solution, but to know they’ve been heard.
- Be transparent. Trust grows when people feel they’re getting the truth. Even when you can’t share everything, say what you can — and say why you can’t say more.
- Hold both compassion and accountability. One without the other is ineffective. Compassion without accountability is indulgence. Accountability without compassion is cruelty.
- Model self-kindness. If you’re running on fumes, your kindness will be the first casualty. Rest, boundaries, and self-respect aren’t luxuries — they’re the conditions for sustainable leadership.
Don’t Wait for Permission
Good leadership is not about permission, the latest initiative, or even following policy; it is about how you connect, how you make people feel, and often how you handle those awkward moments of human vulnerability.
In a world that’s fast, fatigued, and sometimes fractured, kindness might just be the smartest, most future-proof leadership move you can make. Kindness is built in tiny moments, over and over, until it becomes the culture. That culture is your competitive advantage.
Choose kindness even when it’s inconvenient, especially when it is inconvenient; that’s probably where kindness is most needed.
Drawing on two decades of experience in leadership, psychology, and neuroscience, as well as her background in emergency care, Lynda created the ICARE framework for Braver Leaders. She works with leaders, in health, education & business to create cultures that heal and not hurt those within them.
Lynda has previously held senior leadership roles in the NHS and chaired the national RCN Emergency Care Association for a number of years. Lynda loves the crossover of all things ‘woowoo’ and hard science; you could say she does the mindset stuff for people who don’t like fluff.
When not working, Lynda is usually out in nature, camera in hand. She believes we can all do amazing things when we are brave enough to start!